


Lies

by Automne



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 19:14:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3499781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Automne/pseuds/Automne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the start, she knew it wouldn't work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lies

**Author's Note:**

> Very loosely inspired by "Lies" by Marina and the Diamonds - I think it's the perfect song to sum up Tetsuya and Satsuki's relationship.

From the start they knew it wouldn't work, but they were tired of chasing after dreams and desires and maybe playing pretend wouldn't be so bad. 

And yeah, maybe Satsuki knew there would always be something missing - that she wouldn't get Tetsuya to love her the way she did - but at least she could try, and even if it wasn't real when she closed her eyes she could almost imagine what it was like to be loved. She would rationalise that at least for now, she could hug him and kiss him and tell him she loved him with all her heart while smiling, and it didn't matter that he never dared to look at her when he said "I love you", that he always had to close his eyes when they kissed, that he prefered hugging her because he always seemed guilty when he saw her face.

But he would look away and he seemed sad, guilty, worn out; she didn't want to pain him but she didn't want to let him go. She would press his head against her chest when they cuddled, so that he could feel her heart pound so fast and so hard and all that was for him - that the moment he left it would stop beating. It was terrible of her and she was ashamed but if it could keep him by her side just a little bit longer, it was worth it.

It was an illusion. At first she wanted to believe him, she wanted to believe in an "us", but she knew time was running out with everything word and every touch. It was painful, watching Tetsuya die every second she lived, as if he gave her all his time and energy because that's all he had to give, and yet all she needed was his heart - but that was a lot harder to achieve and she had not control over that. 

They were meant to be. Perfectly compatible in every way. He was her type and she was his. So why? That was what Satsuki would always wonder; why didn't it work, why didn't he love her, was it too much to ask? Maybe it was. And she knew she couldn't trick him into falling in love - how many times had she tried to convince herself to fall out of it? It drove her mad. It made her cry herself to sleep and Tetsuya had to hug and sooth her to hide how helpless it was, and oh how ironic it was that he could hurt her so bad yet be her only comfort. 

_"I love you."_

Slowly, they gradually, they stopped trying so hard. They wouldn't hold hands at all time, they wouldn't smile so brightly anymore.

_"I love you too."_

Now when they watched a movie, there would be a wall of silence and a few centimetres between them and it felt like a world separated them.

_"I'm glad..."_

Eventually, they stopped all together. All that remained were fragments of broken memories and what could've been.

One day he approached her and he smiled, the sweetest, softest smile she's ever seen him with, and she knew. She tried to smile back while her eyes were watering and she wasn't making it easier for either of them - so she fought them back as best as she could. Be strong, she told herself. It didn't help.

"Satsuki." 

Gentle fingers pushed a loose bang away from her face, and it hurt, it hurt so bad she couldn't breathe. He wasn't smiling anymore.

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head, she tried to tell him it was alright, that she wasn't anrgy at him, that she forgave him. Instead tears rolled on her cheeks and a sob left her.

He didn't need to say more. He kissed her forehead, the only touch she needed, before leaving. Maybe he was being a coward, and she wished she could hate him, but a bruised heart was still a heart, a heart that loved. She curled up, she cried, she screamed in agony at the terrible pain in her chest, she wanted to die so the suffering would end. Everytime she closed her eyes she saw the illusion she had left and reality hit her so hard it crushed all hope. "I love you". She would repeat it over and over as if it would change anything, like an ode to what should've been.

From the start, she knew it wouldn't work. But love was stubborn and she would have to live with its curse forever.


End file.
